There’s so much stuff in my house.

So. Much. Stuff.

My husband freaks out a little bit when I get like this because, inevitably, when I slash and burn through my clutter, some of his things end up missing.

I’m at the point now where this gorgeous old house is stuffed to the gills with things. Just stuff, stuff and more stuff and you get to a point where keeping that stuff somewhat under control becomes a full-time job.

Speaking of jobs, I’m quitting mine this week. This relationship has been sour for months now and I have a few fantastic projects lined up to carry me through the summer.

This cleaving sort of inspired me to look around my house and notice other things that I’m clinging too unnecessarily. Books. Teapots. Knickknacks. Papers. Broken toys. Art projects that never came to fruition.

I just CAN’T anymore.

I just want to be free of the stuff chains and get the fuck on with my life now that I’m changing directions and jumping off the cliff of “here goes nothing.”

I’ve been scouring the interwebs looking for an aggressive plan of attack to get me stuff free as soon as possible and it’s a bit disheartening to see year-long plans. Hell no.

This stuff needs to relocate in a matter of weeks.

I gave myself a month. Four weeks to get ALL THE THINGS gone. I figure that’s two weeks concentrating on the upstairs and two weeks concentrating on the downstairs.

I wrote that wrong. Downstairs comes first, then upstairs. And then when that’s done, we do the basement. But I’m not counting the basement in my month because holy freaking hell does that basement require some work I’m not ready to factor in.

Back to the point.

Our recycling/trash center is open two days per week (Wednesdays and Saturdays) and our local charity shop is open those same days. Here’s my updates plan:

Downstairs

Wednesday #1: Kitchen. Donate all the freaking mismatched, unused kitchen crap and give it away. No more junk drawer or top-of-fridge storage either.

Saturday #1: Office destash. Say goodbye to the glut of books and art junk I’ll never use but insist on carrying with me every time we move. Downstairs bathroom too. No more crap on the shelves just to have crap on the shelves.

Wednesday #2: Living room and hallway unjunking. Our kids don’t play with toys or read the books we have for them. They simply dump them on the floor and grind poptarts into every nook and cranny before calling it good. Total dejunking happening in our hallway too. I can’t stand to look at another pair of snow boots, ya’ll.

Saturday #2: Front porch. What on earth do I even stash there anymore? I’m almost afraid to open the boxes.

Upstairs

Wednesday #3: They say to swallow the frog first. Go ugly early. Dive into the biggest, ugliest item on the to-do list and when it comes to our upstairs, it’s the boys’ room. I think creatures have formed from primordial ooze under their bed and I’m about to get all up in it’s grill.

Saturday #3: Girls’ room. The girls have their own special brand of clutter and it’s known as 4,000,000 dresses. I just can’t anymore. I literally cannot close drawers or find signs of life in that closet. Enough.

Wednesday #4: My bedroom. My closet is home to 1 million good intentions and unpacked boxes. They’re out.

Saturday #4: Bathroom and hallway. Ohmaigod. So close to finish line! I get the random fabric-y things out of my life and clear away the crusted over cleaning supplies and we can call this month a win, my peoples.